Infinite Monkeys

Obama Chamberlain

This California blogger has heard Obama's "doth might protest too much" reaction to Bush's excellent speech in Israel today. And there's more to be said about it later.

But it's hard not to note, and enjoy, Exurban League's take on this story. Especially Jon's skill with PhotoShop, illustrating the issue.

But to get the full funny, you have to click the link.

Premptive UPDATE: Before I could even finish this post, The Corner was hip to it. Way to go, ExUrbs!

A benefit of California's Judicial Tyranny

The last thing the Democrats wanted in this campaign was a social issue that will activate the conservative base that is lukewarm, at best, to McCain's campaign. So in that sense, four judges in California have done a service to the Republican ticket.

In California, at least, Republican and conservative turnout should be high to ensconce the definition of traditional marriage into the state constitution. McCain should already appeal to moderates and independents in California — a state in which Obama was soundly defeated by Hillary. And now he'll have lots of conservatives coming the the polls. If he keeps harping the issue of wanting Supreme Court Justices like Roberts, Alito, Scalia and Thomas, it will be easy for those energized conservatives to pull the lever for McCain to reinforce why they voted in the first place.

Oh, sure. Obama will call this important social issue a "distraction," and a "wedge" that is dividing the country. The media will chime in with the chorus. But, this ruling may force Obama to come out and defend what should be the easy win of California. And when your political opponent is fighting on his turf, and not yours, you have a great advantage.

Judicial Tyranny in California

No, that's not an especially shocking headline considering the Left Coast's political history. And if you think "tyranny" too strong a word -- yes, that's Joel bait -- how else to define rule by judicial fiat rather than rule by the consent of the governed?

The California Supreme Court today declared that it is not enough that the Golden State gives full legal rights to gays who enter into domestic partnership. A one-judge majority ruled, like the Massachusetts Supreme Court a couple of years back, that if the word "marriage" is not used by the statute to describe the partnership, it is unconstitutional.

Why the court felt the need to even wade into this mess -- and make it worse -- is beyond me. If the legal protections are the same, where is the legal discrimination?

I wouldn't be a very good Buddhist

Wow.

TEN years ago, Michael Roach and Christie McNally, Buddhist teachers with a growing following in the United States and abroad, took vows never to separate, night or day.

By “never part,” they did not mean only their hearts or spirits. They meant their bodies as well. And they gave themselves a range of about 15 feet.

If they cannot be seated near each other on a plane, they do not get on. When she uses an airport restroom, he stands outside the door. And when they are here at home in their yurt in the Arizona desert, which has neither running water nor electricity, and he is inspired by an idea in the middle of the night, she rises from their bed and follows him to their office 100 yards down the road, so he can work.

Their partnership, they say, is celibate.

And to elaborate further: There are lots of times I admire the discipline and contemplation of serious Buddhists. This is not one of those times.

The McCain Mutiny

Yup. This cartoon by Pulitzer winner Michael Ramirez about sums it up for me when I hear John McCain advocate some of his liberal-lite positions — such as the pointless, economy-killing global warming nonsense.

Not that I won't climb back on the boat by November with an paddle in one hand and a bailing bucket in the other. But still ...

Appalachia really loves Hillary

Maybe it's the way Hillary dresses. Maybe it's because there's no Starbucks in Bluefield, and only 19 Starbuckses in the whole West "By God" Virginia. (There's 23 in my city of Pasadena). Hard to say, for sure. But Obama got smoked in the two-smokin' barrels Mountain State Tuesday.

Hillary won 67 percent to 28 percent — even better than even some of the most optimistic projections had it. I'm pretty bad at math, but 39 percentage points is pretty large.

What a strange Democratic Primary. Hillary wins huge states like Pennsylvania, Texas, Florida, New York, New Jersey, Michigan and California — yet Obama is declared the man. And after the press makes a big deal out of crowning him the nominee following a split of North Carolina and Indiana, Hillary crushes Obama in West Virginia and is poised to take Kentucky. Yet the calls for her to leave grow. Even Clinton King Maker James Carville says he's got his check made out to Obama, and pours lemon juice on the unkind cut by declaring that the rest of the Clinton Cling-ons will be following suit.

Ouch.

The question remains, though, whether Hillary has a point when she says that Obama can't win the general election when so many Democrats — a demographic she called working-class whites and got ripped for — don't take a shine to the latte-sippin' newbie.

Paul Is (Not) Dead, but he's killing the environment

Hi, there Paul. Nice to see ya. Especially nice to see ya tooling around in your fancy motor car. It's so fancy, it's a limo you paid Lexus $164,000 for it. Actually, you didn't pay for it. Lexus gave it to you as an expression of their thanks for your promotion of the green lifestyle. That's sooooo cute!

Islamic submission in America update

What is it with Minnesota and dhimmitude? First, the airport in Minnesota moves forward with plans to accomodate Muslim cabbies who refuse to drive people carrying alcohol in their luggage. They did, eventually come to their senses, but now there's this:

A St. Cloud State University student in a teacher-training program at Technical High School left the school in late April because he says he feared for the safety of his service dog.

Who would threaten to kill that dog? Muslim students who consider dogs "unclean."

I've got just one word for you

And it's at OneWord.

The idea is simple. You click a button. A word appears at the top of your screen. You have 60 seconds to write about it. It's a fun, possibly useful little exercise.

I wrote about lemons and money. What did you write about?

(Evidently, the words change daily.)

Geeks will save us all

How can we revive America's economy? Breathe new life into the manufacturing sector? Quit outsourcing? Pay down our debts?

Well, those things might work. Or we can play more video games:

New Yorkers who are worried that it might be “game over” for Wall Street profits should look to the video game industry, a new report says.

Mayor Bloomberg should take a greater role in growing the gaming business by assigning a city staffer to act as a liaison to the industry and by promoting trade shows and gaming conferences that could showcase New York’s potential as a home for companies, the report says.

Omens and witchcraft

The Los Angeles Times today takes on the presidential candidates with a hard-hitting piece about ... their handwriting:

"Obama is very much his writing -- fluid, graceful. McCain's is angular and intense; he's a pit bull. And look at the perfectionism in Hillary's -- straight up, precise. She is persistent and is not going to give up until she absolutely has to," said (Arlyn J.) Imberman, a court-certified graphologist based in New York.

Bill O'Reilly: Stay Classy, America!

Have you seen the video of Inside Edition-era Bill O'Reilly melting down at the end of a broadcast? Oh, it's precious.

Tough racket, TV. Whew.

The Cult of the Presidency

As long as we're talking libertarians and the presidential election, be sure to read Gene Healy's essay on the "cult of the presidency" at Reason's website. Here's the crux:

The chief executive of the United States is no longer a mere constitutional officer charged with faithful execution of the laws. He is a soul nourisher, a hope giver, a living American talisman against hurricanes, terrorism, economic downturns, and spiritual malaise. He — or she — is the one who answers the phone at 3 a.m. to keep our children safe from harm. The modern president is America’s shrink, a social worker, our very own national talk show host. He’s also the Supreme Warlord of the Earth.

This messianic campaign rhetoric merely reflects what the office has evolved into after decades of public clamoring. The vision of the president as national guardian and spiritual redeemer is so ubiquitous it goes virtually unnoticed. Americans, left, right, and other, think of the "commander in chief" as a superhero, responsible for swooping to the rescue when danger strikes. And with great responsibility comes great power.

The piece is actually an excerpt from Healy's new book of the same title. John Derbyshire reviewed it favorably, along with Ron Paul's new manifesto. Follow all of the links, read everything, then buy one or both of the books.

Libertarians get ready to party while Paulists plot

Former Rep. Bob Barr announced Monday he would seek the Libertarian Party's nomination for president of these United States. Here's Barr's campaign website. Check it out. He needs money.

RealClearPolitics asks "How big a threat is Barr?" Answer: Not so big. I mean, come on. Yet some Republican bigs apparently tried to dissuade Barr from running. Good heavens, why? Some disaffected conservatives might vote for Barr, sure. The rest will either swallow hard and pull the lever for McCain or simply forget to vote that day.

The question clearly is not whether Bob Barr can win. It's not even whether Barr can be a spoiler, much less attract more than one-tenth of one percent of the popular vote. Rather, the question is whether he can win the nomination at the Libertarian Party's convention in Denver this month. Mike Gravel of Beatles fame is in the hunt. And some true believers are giving the ex-congressman from Georgia the old skunk-eye. Seems Barr may be "too Republican" and too "interventionist" for the Libertarian Party. Uh huh. Whatever happens, Barr can be reasonably certain of the stripper vote.

Meantime, Ron Paul's supporters are reportedly plotting to embarrass John McCain at the St. Paul convention. "They hope to demonstrate their disagreements with McCain vocally at the convention through platform fights and an attempt to get Paul a prominent speaking slot," according to the L.A. Times. "Paul, who's running unopposed in his home Texas district for an 11th House term, still has some $5 million in war funds and has instructed his followers that their struggle is not about a single election, but a long-term revolution for control of the Republican Party."

I wish them luck. The GOP convention promised to be a fairly staid affair. Maybe the Paulists can liven things up a little, and remind the Republican rank-and-file of just what the hell freedom is for.

Is Barack Obama an Apostate from Islam?

Edward Luttwak in Monday's New York Times argues that Barack Obama has an Islam problem, but not the problem some silly, conspiracy-obsessed people believe. Obama is not a "secret" Muslim. No, it's actually more complicated -- and potentially worse -- than that.

More proof that Pabst Blue Ribbon beer is elitist

Last week I mentioned that Barack Obama's purchase of a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer was evidence of his secret elitism. Today we have proof: PBR vegan soap.

I promise you this: Natty Light would never be caught in such a compromising position.

Cross posted at Cup O' Joel

Beyonce is 'Crazy' and not just 'Crazy in Love'

Beyonce, as my friends at Exurban League noticed, has a clothing line. As to be expected, it leans on the hip-hop tip. Which is fine. Unless you start a clothing line for children and keep that theme.

Ugh. I'm almost speechless. So take it away, ExUrb Jon:

I thought Jon Benet's parents were creepy. And that Bratz dolls were a sign of the Apocalypse. Now Ms. Bootylicious is dressing up six-year-olds in red pumps?

Repent! The end is near!

The pornification of our youth continues apace.

(HT: Exurban League, via Pop Gumbo)

Hillary sports Hillbilly Fashion

Holy Hillbillies! Ok. So maybe Hillary forgot her rain gear while campaigning in West Virginia. But who's idea was it to give her Ned Beatty's raincoat? Perhaps she's going for the Big Bird vote, but she looks like a Moo-Moo in the rain.

And as Hillary shows below, there is no pose or action that makes the Oversized Yellow Tarp Coat look good.

Yikes!

Beastmaster Jr.

Nonsensical hero? Check. Cheesy special effects? Check. Ridiculous heavy metal soundtrack? Check. Behold... Beastmaster Jr.!

History is a funny thing

In the latest issue of The Atlantic -- not yet online, I'm sorry to say -- Ross Douthat makes the case that George W. Bush might be seen by history as a better president than his current twentysomething-percent poll position would indicate.

Why? Well, not because George W. Bush is actually a good president. History is forgiving, it seems, of all but the most villanous figures. Harry Truman and Woodrow Wilson left office with low popularity and/or diminished reputations, but found esteem over time. Even LBJ gets sympathetic treatment these days.

And that got me thinking: Who is right? The future historians who can see the big picture? Or us, the people who actually have to live with the consequences of a president's bad decisions?

I don't have a clear answer to that. I do think history tends to overlook the lives of regular folks when making its assessments. But it could be that we're all paying the price for George W. Bush's uncanny vision for the Middle East -- something that might look good in, say, 50 years but feels damn painful now. And I'm not sure who would be on the right side of that argument.

Cross posted at Cup O' Joel

Troubled political marriages

Leave it to the LA Times to think a great feature story about a married couple's political conflict is not between, say, a McCain-supporting husband and an Obama-loving wife.

No. To the lefty editors at that dying newspaper, the only political conflict worth 2,000-word treatment happens between those who support the liberal Hillary or the more liberal Obama.

For more than a year, the political version of "The War of the Roses" has been raging in Democratic homes across the country. Friendly wagers have been made, evenings have been ravaged and all manner of persuasion has been tried -- and often has failed.

Sounds like a bunch of bitter people to me. Political discussion is supposed to be fun.

Rush Limbaugh has already won the 2008 election

In Politico today, we have Rush Limbaugh:

For his part, Limbaugh scoffed at a question about whether his influence would wane should one of his least favorite Republicans win the White House and returned to his other most favored punching bag.

“If anything, my impact will increase with a McCain presidency,” Limbaugh said. “The question is whether the MSM's impact will be lessened, which is slowly happening all around us. I will thrive as always.”

Well of course he'll thrive. Yes, Limbaugh is a conservative, but there are times when that seems incidental. His real shtick is grievance, and in that sense he's now set up perfectly for the 2008 election. If a Democrat wins, he'll be able to rail about how the Democrats are ruining the country. And if John McCain wins -- well, Rush will be able to complain about how a not-conservative-enough Republican is ruining the country. Lose-lose for conservatives is actually win-win for Rush.

Cross-posted at Cup O' Joel.

Mr. Picassohead

Hitting my "Stumble!" button last night sent me and Mrs. Zaius to a wonderful random site: Mr. Picassohead. Warning: The create-your-own Picasso-like knock-off is loads of fun, but like the original Mr. Potatohead can be very addictive.

The political season has inspired me to compose a portrait of Barack Obama. I think I got his ears juuuuust right.

Enjoy.

How to make "The Sopranos" boring

Easy! Let some academics get their hands on it. According to the Guardian:

Many viewers felt bereft when the last of the six series finished last year, but academics at Brunel University in west London and Fordham University in New York have found a way to commiserate. They will jointly host The Sopranos: A Wake in Manhattan from 22-25 May. Titles of the sessions include: 'Carmela Soprano as Emma Bovary' and 'Body of Evidence: Tony Soprano's Corporeal Struggle'.

Paulie Walnuts would weep... if he knew what any of it meant.

Summer of Gin: Taking it on the Chinotto

Here's an Italian variation on the gin and tonic -- gin and chinotto. OK, it's actually pronounced key-NAWT-toe, not chin-auto, but I couldn't resist the pun. And, in case you're wondering, it's a type of bitter citrus fruit, an Italian kissing cousin of the orange. Chinotto also makes for a tasty mixer, especially with gin on a warm weekend afternoon...

Bill 'helps' Hillary by attacking West Virginia voter

It's not easy for some people to let go of power, which Bill Clinton proved with his tacky, attention-grabbing long goodbye on George W. Bush's inauguration day in 2001. And the former president reminds us again this week that letting go is harder for the Clintons than it is for most.

Despite the fact that Hillary is going to win West Virginia by at least 20 points — Rasmussen has Hillary dominating the votes of those God-and-guns clingers by a staggering 2 to 1 margin — the Big He is out there on the stump. And he doesn't take kindly to anyone expressing even a little criticism of his presidency.

An old woman — she looked to be in her 70s — had the temerity to suggest that for all the bragging about the "work" Hillary did on health care, she failed to get anything done. In other words, the value of one's work is measured in results, not intentions or rhetoric.

Well, Bill couldn't let that stand. So the bully let the poor woman have it.

All class, that guy. You're a former president of the United States, and you think it's good form to berate an old lady in front of a crowd — try to humiliate her in public just to make yourself look (and feel) better. Of course, Bill doesn't have a great record in the treatment of women he doesn't fear, which means every woman except his wife. That poor lady better put some ice on that.

Good riddance, you jerk. But be sure to stay out there on the campaign trail long enough to ensure your wife's defeat. Can't take any chances.

Global Warming Cooling Update

As part of an ongoing series from me debunking the Global Warming myth, let's just let my friend at Moonbattery take care of this one. Via the respected and non-ideological National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration:

The average temperature in April 2008 was 51.0 F. This was -1.0 F cooler than the 1901-2000 (20th century) average, the 29th coolest April in 114 years.

Brrrrr. I, for one, have noticed a chill in Southern California. Maybe I should let my car run for an hour or so. Just to do my part.

Bill Clinton's 'Black President' title renounced

Bill Clinton was dubbed in 1998 by Nobel Laureate Toni Morrison as America's honorary First Black President. Back then, you might remember, Clinton was suffering from his impeachment shame. And Democrats everywhere were rushing to his defense. Some defenders were especially effusive, including Morrison, who wrote for The New Yorker that Bill Clinton was:

Blacker than any actual black person who could ever be elected in our children's lifetime. After all, Clinton displays almost every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonald's-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas.

All true. But, in Morrison's view, a little less true today. Since then — not only in our children's lifetimes, but in the 77-year-old Morrison's lifetime — an "actual black person" will be the Democratic presidential nominee. So the celebrated author has offered a revision to her 10-year-old effusive prose. Toni Morrison told Time Magazine in a public Q&A this week:

Do you regret referring to Bill Clinton as the first black President?—Justin Dews, Cambridge, Mass.

MORRISON: People misunderstood that phrase. I was deploring the way in which President Clinton was being treated, vis-à-vis the sex scandal that was surrounding him. I said he was being treated like a black on the street, already guilty, already a perp. I have no idea what his real instincts are, in terms of race.

Fine time to clarify that statement, a decade after she said it. Convenient, too, since she came out for Obama in January. How the difficult 1998 experience of Clinton — who is actually guilty of the crime of lying under oath in a deposition while being held to account for a sexual harassment law he signed, not to mention lying to his cabinet and the American people — equals the plight of "a black on the street" ... well ... I have to leave that to Morrison to elaborate on someday. Maybe, at her pace, we'll get an explanation in 2018.

Meantime, we are witnessing the continual crumbling of Clinton's legacy. He harmed his reputation with black Americans with his dismissal of Obama's victory in the South Carolina primary. And now Toni Morrison has turned her back. For a man who cares about his public perception more than anything, that's gotta hurt.

Yes, Code Pink is silly

I sometimes think that lefty fringe groups such as Code Pink exist mainly for conservative propaganda purposes:

Somebody sent me this in an email and I didn't think it could be true. Then I followed the link to the Code Pink website and I was still dubious because the page looks like a mock-up, and it's so nutty...I still didn't think it could be true. But now Fox confirms, Code Pink is engaging in witchcraft at the Marine Corps recruiting station in Berkeley in another attempt to...drive the Marines into an ocean of peace?

Yes, Code Pink is silly. So is giving them lots of attention in order to pretend the group somehow represents mainstream liberalism. I mean, granted, I also practice antiwar witchcraft. But that's just a coincidence.

And yes, this is bait for Dr. Zaius.

Cross posted at Cup O' Joel.

Off to the Movies!

I have some time on my hands, so I'm headed off to the multiplex this afternoon. Although I've seen Iron Man twice already, I agree with Dirty Harry at Libertas that it's worth seeing again, for all the right reasons. And I will. Just not today.

Instead, I'll see The Forbidden Kingdom, the Jackie Chan/Jet Li kung-fu epic. Nothing like a few spinning roundhouse kicks and magical bo-staff hijinks to cure the post-employment blues.

Alas, I'll probably get roped into seeing Speed Racer tomorrow. I share Joel's indifference to the flick. I wasn't into the cartoon, either. But Joel should consider himself lucky that he doesn't have a 5-year-old boy who can't get enough of those seizure-inducing trailers.

Light a candle for me, won't you?

Hung up on Hannah Montana

Forgive me, but I'm still hung up on this "Hannah Montana topless" business. (RedBlueAmerica.com covered the topic here.) We've had a chance to survey some of the fallout. Most immediately: The Disney Channel show's ratings are dropping. Oh, and Hugh Hefner is looking to book a photo shoot for sometime in 2012. Lovely.

At National Review Online today, Jennifer Graham muses on the Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana/Vanity Fair row. She focuses the same thing that bothered me -- no, not the "topless" picture, but the picture of Miley and her dad, Billy Ray. "Isn’t anyone else on the planet a little uncomfortable with Billy Ray and Miley Ray (yes, she’s legally changed her name, effective May 1) draped all over each other, in skimpy black tank-tops and tight blue jeans?"

As a matter of fact, yes.

Just about every story about the controversy reported some variation of how Billy Ray Cyrus was "outraged" at the shots, which he said were taken without his knowledge after he left the set of the photo shoot. But I wonder if he's given a thought to that other picture, in which Miley looks less like his child than his lover -- her midriff provocatively exposed and her expression smoky as he gazes off in the distance.  But, of course, to point this out is to invite the criticism of having a "dirty mind."

Might that be precisely what Annie Liebowitz and Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter intended? Or could that even be what Miley and her parents had in mind?

The Empire Strikes Barack

I was going to post this elsewhere, but it seems more appropriate here. Suck it, will.i.am!

Hillary Clinton's "secret" plan to win the presidency

OK, in the interest of offering a non-scotch olive branch around here, I'll bring up a topic we can all agree on, left and right: Our mutual distrust -- that's the strongest word I'll use -- of Hillary Clinton.

From Politico, Hillary Clinton is asking superdelegates to commit to her in private -- that way they can avoid the fuss n' muss of a public endorsement.

“We do have some private supporters,” the staffer said. “[But] for their own political purposes, they can’t be on record.”

Call me crazy, but isn't Clinton's case to the superdelegates basically that she can win the presidency and Barack Obama can't? Doesn't it undermine that argument to sneak around because members of your own party can't take the political risk of being associated with you?

Cross-posted at my new home base. And then I'll shut up for the rest of the evening so that the monkey vets can have their say.

Scotch scotch scotch scotch

Hi there. New guy here. I guess it's up to me to break the ice.

So...

The most-cherished bottle in my liquor cabinet -- and by "liquor cabinet," I mean "the top of my microwave" -- is a 15-year-old Laphroig.

Am I worthy of your envy? Or your contempt? And does it change anything if I say that I fervently hope Barack Obama wins the presidency?

Will Hugh Hewitt revoke his blurb because I said that?

OK, I'm at the dance. Will anybody make eye contact with me? I'm so nervous.

Best drinking. Both sides.

Well, the Great American Experiment at RedBlueAmerica.com is coming to an end, at least in its present form. (The site isn't going dark, it's just not going to have moderators or topics or my bloggy wisdom.) We made a great go of it, but our backers at Scripps wanted to see a much higher return on their investment than anyone could have possibly delivered in less than five months. That's OK. I'm disappointed, but I have nothing but praise for the endeavor and for the great people I had the honor of working with. And it truly was an honor.

John Temple, the editor and publisher of the Rocky Mountain News, had a great idea with RedBlueAmerica.com: Best thinking. Both sides. He believed -- correctly, I remain convinced -- that there is an audience for a political and cultural forum where readers can get news and opinion and discuss issues with gusto but without rancor. I'm eternally grateful to John, to Linda Sease at Scripps who helped found the site, to Vince Carroll at the Rocky for his advice early on, to my teammates Allen Klosowski and John Stancliffe, and to my intern and assistant Chuck Johnson, who has a great future ahead of him. It was a good run. Too short, but damn good.

My co-moderator at RedBlueAmerica, Joel Mathis, has become a close friend over the past few months and I expect he'll be joining the Monkeys soon. (He also plans to blog here. Bookmark it.) Joel is a little worried that he would be a token liberal, but I keep telling him that his excellent taste in single-malt scotch makes him a perfect fit here. Besides, with Monkey Robb missing in action, we'll need a whisky drinker who can take a principled anti-war line. Zaius needs a good sparring partner, too.

As I am an incurable optimist, it isn't too tough to see the silver lining in all this. The good news is I'll be able to devote greater time, attention and effort to The Summer of Rum Gin. And under the circumstances, I expect to be drinking quite a bit.

Democrats

As the Democratic race winds down, I have a message for my Democratic friends. I know that for about half of you, you're about to see your candidate lose, in what seems to be a very unfair way (that's true no matter which one wins, due to the messy primary process). All I can say is that it is possible to rechannel that anger.

You want to, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Give in to your anger.
It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you. It will make you stronger. With each passing moment, you think more about voting for McCain. Come to the dark side, my son...

Hillary to Dems: Love will tear us apart

Hillary Clinton is the Democratic Party's psycho-ex girlfriend. It's funny because it's true.

(Hat tip: Mercyphotography at RedBlueAmerica.com.)

The Democrats will eat themselves, but the GOP will still lose. Unless...

Somewhere, in my vast library of Menckeniana, there is a piece by H.L. Mencken about what happens when Democrats meet. I think. It was one of his dispatches from one of the national conventions, during the 1920s. Maybe. The gist of it was that when rival Republicans meet in a hotel lobby, they tend to greet each other like Shriners. When rival Democrats meet, Mencken may or may not have written, get ready for a knife fight.

I promise to track down the reference and even correct the account just as soon as I take care of some other... er, more pressing business. But the image -- which admittedly may be wholly formed in my addled brain out of nothing more than misconception and partisan dementia -- lately came to the fore during discussions of the current presidential election.

The Republicans, though in dire straits, might just pull it out in the fall. And no, it isn't enough to step back and hope the Democrats immolate themselves. An editorial in Thursday's Investor's Business Daily argues

Some Republicans fret that special-election losses portend disaster for their party this fall. But the most radical Democratic presidential nominee ever is actually a golden opportunity for the GOP to win big.

Ronald Reagan used to say the key to GOP victory was presenting voters with "a banner of bold, unmistakable colors, with no pastel shades." Now, with Barack Obama as the Republicans' likely opponent this November, there's no excuse for pastel.

John McCain has a well-deserved reputation as a maverick, as a politician who puts personal honor over partisanship. That's well and good. Honor counts for something. But after eight years of an administration that has sucked the oxygen out of the old Reaganite coalition, McCain has an opportunity to make a case for a principled conservatism. A conservatism of restrained and sensible spending. A conservatism that does not sacrifice national interest to international interests. McCain may or may not be that conservative. Probably not. But in contrast with left-liberal Barack Obama, he could position himself as such.

What's great about the way the November election is shaping up is that very contrast. Sure, McCain is hardly the ideal conservative. And I happen to know that the left has doubts about Obama, too. But absent a Paul vs. Kucinich donnybrook, this is about as decent a presidential slugfest as anyone could hope for. Let's make the best of it, shall we?

Supermodel comes up with a super 'green' idea

Cindy Crawford, considered one of the smarter supermodels in the stable, told ABC News this week that her experience as a mother has led to an "eco-awakening."

“I mean, we’ve all have seen the Al Gore movie and green is on ... it’s on top of the mind for everybody,” Crawford said. “But, it is overwhelming. I have a very full life as well, so it’s like ‘Oh, I can’t compost my own stuff.’”

No, she can't possibly compost her own stuff. It's messy and smelly -- the kind of stuff, like, ugly people do. But she'll try to do what she can.

“My kids go to a school in Malibu and it’s super-environmentally conscious,” Crawford said. “We do beach clean-ups, try to use less plastic as a school. And so, that kind of made me think, 'what can I do?' "

I presume Cindy didn't just yesterday start instructing her nanny to drop the kids off at school for Malibu-style "super-environmentally conscious" indoctrination. So maybe this awakening has something to do with a new endorsement deal ...

"I teamed up with PUR, which is a water filtration company. They do the things you can attach to your faucets, as well as those pitchers ..."

Um, yeah. We've heard of them. You know, with all the PUR TV commercials, the displays in the Piggly Wiggly and Wal-Mart and stuff. Those are called "stores" owned by what's called "retail companies." They do the things, like, where you pick something off the shelf, take it to the counter, pay for it, and take it home. Anyway, now for Cindy's big idea!

"... we came up with a reusable water bottle.”

Wow! Really?! You mean you can take those bottles of Fiji or Adirondack or Dasani, and when you drink it all down, you can put them back under the faucet and refill them? Never thought of that. Of course, I never thought of charging $19.99 for special "reusable" water bottles on a website, either. So maybe I'm the dummy.

Cindy laments that Americans use 50 billion bottles of water every year, "and only 50 percent are recycled. So that's like 38 billion that aren't recycled." Umm .... math is hard. So let's have my hilarious friend Jon at Exurban League do the figuring for us.

Let's see... 50 Billion x 50% = 25 Billion, subtract the loss factor, add in the safety margin, carry the missing supermodel brain cells... yep, 38 billion!

It's bad enough that environmental scolds like Ed Begley Jr. wag their fingers at ordinary Americans for not caring enough about the Earth to ditch the internal combustion engine and hitch a donkey to the SUV for the morning commute. But it is exponentially more annoying for Cindy Crawford to encourage us to be green -- at $19.99 a pop -- when she lives in the house below:

That's right. Four (count 'em)  structures on her beachfront Malibu estate -- each larger than the one I live in. Tell you what, Cin. I'll keep recycling and reusing water bottles my way, and I'm sure I'll make up for your carbon footprint -- as long as I live until 2751. Good to know you're doing your part!

By the way, don't go over to RedBlueAmerica anymore. They suck.

My Bicycle

I remember being a fat little kid riding my bike all over Los Angeles. So that makes me wonder, what's the deal with cycling?

Honestly, everyone does it. Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks.

What's the big deal? Seriously?

Politics '08

I am assuming that McCain wins the election. Hillary can't tell the truth to save her life and Barry O'Bama is a left-wing hack who probably wins the Black vote and the of Daily Kos-ites. Problem is, I feel like a genuinely dislike John McCain. Oh, I'll vote for him, no doubt. But money? No. Enthusiasm? eh. The problem is that his first [political] instinct seems to be to poke the GOP in the eye. (His second being to kick the GOP in the ass.)

So how to get enthused about McCain? Being anit-Hillary or anti-Barry ain't gonna do it. (I give you 8 years of Billary on that score.)

No, St. John needs to rally the base in a positive campaign. he needs them (us?) to be "for McCain" not anti-Hillary/Barry. The question is, can he do it?

No, he cannot. He cannot because he is John McCain.

John McCain has spent the last 8 years building a consituency that expressly excludes Republicans. Yes, he's been solid on the war. But after that he is, well, Joe Lieberman.

Enthusiasm matters. Tell me, John, where are you going to find the enthusiasm?

Postscript

Seeing as I probably have already pissed off Chad the Elder, let me add this:

Go Red Wings!!!

Vaginas

Malkin notes the best protest sign of the new millenioum.

"My Immigrant Vagina is Angry!"

Yep, nothing like an angry immigrant vagina.

Chad Hates Me

Did you see Chad's basement bar. Pretty damn cool. All the time I've been to Minnesota spending my hard-earned California taxpayer dollars, how many times have I seen the Saloon at Chez Elder?

Zero. None. Nada.

And now he moves away and leaves it behind?

I dold ya he hates me.

bastard.

Drunk Blogging

Wanted to do some drunk blogging tonight.

Got the first part. I ain't got noting on the second part.

Not cross-posted anywhere.

Black Community

Do Rev. Wright and Rev. Sharpton want to stop Obama?

Well, look at it this way:

1 - Obama's nomination would fundamentally change the dynamic that to be a leader of the black community you need to follow the MLK model and have that "Rev." before your name.

2 - Obama's election to the presidency would do serious damage to the animating myth of these reverends--that the United States is a fundamentally racist country, looking to do violence (economic and physical) to blacks at every opportunity.

3 - Worst of all, a President Obama would mean that the structure where there are many people who could claim leadership of the "black community" (whatever that actually means) would be shattered. There would be only one real leader, and he would be the leader of the whole country, not just a range of skin tones.

So what do you think the Reverends really want?

Spring of Discontent

The Atomizer misunderstands the Summer of Gin:

Atomizer Sez: What?! Alcohol has seasons now??!! Nonsense, I declare!!!! Drink what you like when you like...period.

I think he's just bitter that it's still 42 degrees in Minnesota. I suggest a nice aged rum by the fire...

The Atomizer misunderstands the Summer of Gin:

Atomizer Sez: What?! Alcohol has seasons now??!! Nonsense, I declare!!!! Drink what you like when you like...period.

I think he's just bitter that it's still 42 degrees in Minnesota. I suggest a nice aged rum by the fire...

Summer of Gin II

Here's your assignment for this weekend, to prepare for the Summer of Gin (it's 80 degrees in Long Beach today, so I'm starting summer already):

Make a French 75. Despite its name (which comes from a piece of French artillery, so maybe I should say as its name suggests) this drink is not a knockout, but a great balance of flavors.

hillary

If Hillary is smart, she'll exit on a high note, saying that even though she just had a big win, she's stepping aside for the good of the party, etc...

And, knowing Hillary, with a deal with Obama...for VP, if she wants it, or other promises--but primarily to position herself for 2012, since I think she honestly doesn't believe Obama can win.

The Summer of Gin

Chad the Elder is raving about a new drink called the Ten Thyme Smash. It's not clear where this drink came from, although it is certainly part of the gin comeback.
The recipe is indeed hard to track down, although I believe it can be found in this book (which I have not read).

A few years ago, Monkey Ben declared the Summer of Rum. Out of sheer laziness, and inebriation, every summer since has been the summer of rum. And it's been lovely.

But now I'm declaring Summer 2008 the Summer of Gin. A gin primer and recipes to follow, no doubt with the same results as Ben's rum posts...

(Oh, what the heck, here's a good gin primer.)